We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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