I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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