I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize