Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's blow job season.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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