Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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