girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize