you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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