Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
