Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
