'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
