i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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