Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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