the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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