Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
