I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
