booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
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Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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