Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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