so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were trust falling into bushes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
