Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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