"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
