Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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