yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
