i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
