i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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