I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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