and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
