i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
