Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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