STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
