Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
