I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
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There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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