im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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