how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
