with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
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we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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