i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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