Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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