your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
