She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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