It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
as a side note pls kill me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
