dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think a kid would responsible me up
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
