ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
