I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
