Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
