literally had 100 drinks last night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
