um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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