Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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