Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
