I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
