The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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