I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
