Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
