And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
