if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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