everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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