That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
