Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
