my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
