once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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