Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
