i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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