We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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